What Appears To Be Drafting Notes For The Killer’s Letter To The Detectives, Discovered In His Basement, Written On The Inside Cover Of Siddhartha

1. Hey guys, I really am sorry about all this. Those voices, you know?

2. Well, here’s my “murder basement” as I figure they’ll call it. Kind of boring down here, sorry. Watch out—it’s a trap! Just kidding, LOL. I actually spent days tidying the place up for you guys—the DNA evidence, though: you're probably mostly going to find that around that big freezer over there; I’d check the handle. I’ve got this latex allergy, and I don’t think leather gloves are especially effective—and, oh, hey! There are cookies upstairs on the kitchen table, if you didn’t see. Those are my aunt’s recipe and they’re fire. Also, whole milk in the fridge (hopefully not out of date, but that’s on y’all).

3. For what it’s worth, I did have a pretty bad childhood. Like, my uncle was super into these workout videos and I’d come home from school and he’d be Sweatin’ to the Oldies and get mad when I wanted to watch David the Gnome. He did spank me once for breaking a VHS tape. And, my aunt didn’t let me read anything with swear words. She made me go to church. I didn’t mind when I was little.

4. The girls in my class were indifferent to me. Same with boys. I recognize now that I mistook joking for flirting and that got on everyone’s nerves. Which I wish I could do over. Is that sad/weird? I made out with a girl at summer camp once, which, lame as it sounds, was probably the high light of my life. She was at least the second best looking girl at camp and way out of my league. She’d be a good character witness if you could look her up; I never could. I can’t remember how to spell her last name. It’s something like [redacted].

5. I killed a lot of bugs. Particularly monarch butterflies, because they reminded me of angels. I mean, I pinned them up and stuff. I intend to take up Buddhism in prison and maybe I’ll find out what qualifies as too many butterflies in the literature. My aunt turned Buddhist before she died. Of cancer. And that seemed to make her happy. To give her peace, etc.

6. If I were in a crashing plane, I don’t think I’d be scared. Same if I saw a lion. Or a shark. Or me with an ax.

7. I used to believe in heaven and hell. For some reason, when my aunt died, I just stopped like a light switch.

8. Do you think the universe goes on forever? I hope so.

9. When I was little, I wanted to be an astronaut and find heaven. Just fly through space until I found the golden light, like the end zone.

10. Do you think it’s too late?

BIO: Travis Flatt (he/him) is an epileptic teacher and actor living in Cookeville, Tennessee. His stories appear or are forthcoming in Bullshit Lit, Maudlin House, HAD, SmokeLong Quarterly, and elsewhere. He enjoys theater, dogs, and theatrical dogs, often with his wife and son.

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